I don't want to hurt anyone

But when nothing's secure, you have to look out for yourself first.

Maybe I'm just too optimistic when it comes to people. Or maybe I just over-evaluate everything. What we do doesn't always reflect who we are. Obviously, our actions are sometimes just reflections of our present motives, our wants at the current time- not always long-term. And who am I to withhold forgiveness from anybody considering everything?

I wish it could be simpler and we could all live and love in peace, sharing the resources that we have, all playing our part in helping each other. But it seems like everytime I get close to having that sort of a life, people start getting really lazy really fast. I suppose people who are willing to take and take until there's nothing left are people who have no shame. You'll never get anything back. And it seems like a time when commitment to love and even friendship is nearly non-existant. I'm so lucky to have someone who loves me, and somebody who shows it.

Right now I should be really happy. I'm making better choices for myself, beginning an apprenticeship in piercing next Monday, and for the first time in my life I'm with somebody who I absolutely adore in every way possible. And I will be completely satisfied with my life once I get this mess out of the way.

Establish yourself. Find your way. And don't stand in mine.