So, times are changing. And for the better, I suppose. But you never really know. When you open yourself up and are exposed to new things I guess the risk of getting hurt or disappointed increases. But maybe I just got tired of using that as an excuse. Life changes and I change with it.
Spending some time away from Columbia really helped me to get my mind together. It's hard to do that when you're constantly surrounded.
Lately there have been a lot of people around my home and I love it. It's nice to just live life and have friends around. Cameron has pretty much moved in and Clayton's here a lot of the time. Erica's in Manning packing her stuff to come live here in the "cave" which is apparently just gonna be a bunch of tapestries hanging in my dining room area. We don't use the space anyways so we might as well put it to good use.
I've also been realizing how completely shitty some people are.. people who I used to respect and love. Some people just can't be trusted and it's not my responsibility to take care of everybody. That's one thing I'm so glad I opened my eyes to. I have to focus on what I need to do and stop trying to put others first, cuz in the real world that just doesn't work. If you've got you, you're alright.
I'm really looking forward to spending some time with my family this thanksgiving. I don't do enough of that and I feel like now that I provide for myself, I can see how hard it is. And I really don't see how they did it for 18 years. I know they just want what's best for me but I am my own person and I'm very definitely an individual when it comes to my family. No matter what happens though, a lot of my happiness depends on whether or not they are proud of me. And I know that lately they're not. Maybe this holiday will have a little more importance this time around.
In closing, I guess all I really have to say is good people will find good people. And I know my heart.
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Julie, I really love that you write from your spirit. Keep it up. I went to New Mexico and Bobby had made me my own personal journal (I'll have to show you)and I did not know what to write or HOW! I have not spent a great deal of quality time with my spirit in words.I wanted to share with you I have come to understand your happiness is truly and 100% based on YOU...no one else...not even your parents or what they think of you. Yes, you would be correct when you say they want what's best for you, however, I would say only you know what that is and that IS the best!!!
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