Weather's changing. I'm not. I wish I was just one person.. inside and out. Sometimes I wish I stood for something. But really I just am. I simply exist. More or less, in the end I suppose it doesn't really matter. For now I'm happy just letting that last cigarette burn out on the balcony, ridding the house of cat fleas, and wondering how in the world there's no soda or beer left in the fridge.
Is there really a need for a more complex meaning to my being? I believe that I am more than enough to the people who I love. And that nobody can ever know everything. There's more out there than we know.. and it seems like every time I tease my brain with that little piece of paper I just want even more to discover every little thing this world has to offer. So what will I do?
I probably won't go back to school. I won't become a guidance counselor or do anything of worldly significance. Because to me, that's not enough. Sure, we need people to contribute to society or it's going to collapse. But I believe I'll spend the rest of my life searching, discovering, and pouring my heart into finding what my soul is yearning for. Most likely I'll spend the rest of my life wandering from place to place, because I don't need a place.. and I don't want one. I want to be free.. like my soul. And I will be.
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It's amazing how much time changes things Julie. I feel like I don't even know you anymore, and I hate that. It was partially my fault for losing contact with you, I guess that's what time and distance does. I wish I knew you still, and I want to.
ReplyDeleteI think there's a lot more still inside of you that you don't think is there, that still is. You've still got edge, and that has always been you. You've still got a craving for something bigger than you, whether you realize what that is yet or not.
Love you always. Here for you always. and I DO miss you :P